A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says "Hey, what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint. Come up and join me." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey, and they have another ‣ by Jokes Of The Day
A Man gets on a bus and sits next to a mother with child. The mother is trying to get her fussy son to breastfeed, she finally gets frustrated and tells the baby, "You better take to the milk, or I'll give it to this man sitting here..." She tries a few more ‣ by Jokes Of The Day
Three brothers each marry a woman. The first one married a woman from Minneapolis, and said to her: “When I get back from work, I want the house to be clean and tidy.” He didn’t see any changes on the first day, but on the second day the house was clean and tidy. ‣ by Jokes Of The Day
A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150. His parents look at the truck and ask, "Where did you get that truck?!" "I bought it today," he says. "With what money?" says his mother arching an eyebrow. They knew what a new F150 cost. "Well," he ‣ by Jokes Of The Day
A man hates his wife’s cat with a passion and decides to get rid of it once and for all. He drives twenty blocks away from home and drops the cat there. The cat is already walking up the driveway as the man approaches his house. The next day, he decides to ‣ by Jokes Of The Day
Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch. First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows." Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows." Third Bull: ‣ by Jokes Of The Day
A teacher was explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she said. A little girl raised her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some children's stories could become, asked the little girl to describe the...