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Best funny jokes
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Lavinia Strupler
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John visited his 70-year-old survivalist grandpa who lived off the grid. On the first morning of the visit, John's grandpa prepared a breakfast of bacon and eggs. John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and asked, "Are these plates clean?" His grandpa replied, "They're as clean as...
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Approximately 11" x 13" framed wood sign The early bird can have the worm because worms are gross and mornings are stupid. This sentiment fits so many of us so very well! A cute and funny addition to the home of anyone who has a bit of trouble getting moving in the morning. Background is an antique mustard with truffle brown lettering. Rustic brown wood frame. distressed/weathered finish Custom orders welcome! All items I have for sale are crafted by hand, rather than mass produced as you would
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Two statues were standing in the park, one, a nude man and one, a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years. One day an angel comes down from the sky and with a single gesture, brings the two to life. ...
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Three Brothers Get Married - Things Don't Go To Plan #jokes #humor
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The wife of a wealthy business man calls their butler into her bedroom - Husband Wife Jokes
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The doctor says, “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what seems to be the problem?” The mother says, “It’s my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings.” The doctor gives Darla a good examination, and then...
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A Mormon and an Irishman are on a plane. A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed...
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A lady talks to her priest about her two vulgar parrots, his solution is priceless #JokeOfTheDay
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Three old men reminiscing in a nursing home... ... complaining about their biggest regrets on getting old. The first old man said, "I'd give anything to take a good piss like I did when I was young. Every morning I get up it takes me 5 minutes to take a piss, and then it's only a small dribble." The second old man said, "I'd give anything to take a good shit like I did when I was young. Every morning I sit on the stool and strain and strain until I can finally get something out." The third ...
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An old man woke up to celebrate 92nd birthday. He spoke to his toes. He said, “Hello toes! How are you? You know, you're 92 today. Oh the times we’ve had! Remember we walked in the park in the summer every Sunday afternoon? The times we waltzed...
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A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack,"
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